Why Private Messages Suck
Every site boasting social features has, no doubt, some kind of custom user-to-user messaging system. Each one works differently but they all require that you be logged in to read the message. Don’t worry about missing a message though, most services email you to tell you a message is waiting for you. But of course, most don’t want to kill their page view stats by, gasp, sending the private message along with the email, making you click-through and login to their site. Some sites like Flickr and Twitter do include the message in the email, but you still have to use their site to reply.
It would be somewhat manageable if the reply-to field was that person’s real email or the site was smart enough to relay replied emails to users in the form of private messages. Regardless, that’s all semantics and this much effort on the user’s part is too much. Last I checked, email is still alive and thriving, so why reinvent the wheel? Although this article is devoted to roasting private messages, I might as well mention that I think Robert is wrong regarding Twitter becoming the next email.
Private messages do have suitable uses.
Before I vex too many people, let me first state where I think the use of private messages is justified.
Forums and the like - Private messages first got their start in forum and message board software. In this case, private messages are a great solution in an environment where users don’t personally know the other users and might not be comfortable with giving out their personal email address.
Otherwise
For everything else, I don’t see the point of using private messages. For example, in social networks if someone is your friend/contact, and you already display your email address, why not just contact that person over email? Sites had to answer the call of the greenbacks and implement a communication system. It’s all about business these days - bounce rates, page views and keeping the user on the site longer - but selling out isn’t in the best interest of the user.
Points in the case against private messages:
- By using email instead of private messages everything goes to one place, your email account. No need to login to 10 different websites to read something that could have arrived in your normal email inbox (which you check 144 times per day assuming you use Gmail, Google Notifier checks every 5 minutes and you’re in front of your computer for 12 hours per day).
- Emails are archiveable and may be searched through easily in the future.
- As a dichotomy towards private messages, there are no limitations with email. For example, direct messages on Twitter are abso-[curse word of choice]-lutely useless. Think about this typical workflow: user receives Twitter direct message notification email, user must click the reply-to link and go to Twitter only to have 140 characters of space to reply.
- It’s easy to overlook a new private message, especially if the user has already become annoyed with incessant email notifications and disabled them.
- Private messaging systems work in entirely different ways on different sites. That’s another interface for the user to learn. That’s one too many when email could have sufficed.
Exhibit A
How private messages are implemented on various sites.Overall
I know there are two sides to this issue but I have been against private messages for a long time. It was only until recently that my feelings against private messages were riled up again. I had logged into Pownce, which I admittedly don’t use too much since more people follow me on Twitter, only to see that I missed a good 20 private notes. Multiply that by 10 or so similar sites and you can see my frustration. I often see private message notification emails, delete them and ignore the private message for a few days - I’m in email checking mode, not click-through, login and private message reply mode.
Do you have any points for or against the use of private messages that I missed? Where do you stand on this issue?
Mini-Contest
The first 20 people to write an articulate blog post reflecting their thoughts on this issue, send a trackback (if it doesn’t come through, Akismet ate it so drop a comment as well) and email me their physical address will receive a PSTAM button, sticker and business card. If you don’t have a blog, a comment will work too.
(I have a blog, but its still in construction atm so I hope a nuanced comment will suffice ;-] )
You know, I never thought about this deeply before, but I have to agree with you. My first thought was that the only private messaging system I actually use was Facebook’s, and given how much time my social demographic (college students) uses it, it is an acceptable alternative to email.
But then I remembered how annoying it is when Google Desktop’s GMail notifier lets me know I have a new message. And then I have to go to Facebook and check. And then realize all my friend was say “lol” or something of the like.
I think it could be remedied by having sites use PM systems tailored to their site (Facebook attaching events and group info to PMs, Flickr attaching pics to PMs, etc), BUT only if they also send you a copy in your email (not just a notification, but the text of the message). Then they can have their walled system that is more featureful than email and we can search through our email archives for that particular message.
Of course, then they lose ad revenue from lost page impressions and it creates problems for users in having to “mark as read” PMs twice, in email and in their walled system.
Long story short? New sites should just use the de facto person-to-person communication standard…email.
-Ravi
PS. Thank god the Wordpress plugin that does comment updates by email includes the full text of the comment…think how bad things could be if that wasn’t the case.
I think it depends on how famous are you in on the net. There’s people that only want to get some “contact” with that “famous” people to get happy, or just to feel better. Then, if you’re famous, you’ll be getting hundreds of personal messages on web services. I just wonder how much personal messages recieves Kevin Rose, he got to be as frustrated as you.
Greets from Chile.
I just wanted to say that you are absolutely one hundred percent correct on the issue of these private messages. Many times people have sent me a message on Myspace or Facebook and I’ve missed it. Then, on Myspace especially half the time I go to reply it tells me that the system is down and I never really trust that it actually gets the message through to whoever I’m sending it to.
In my opinion the only acceptable forms of internet based communication are email, instant messaging, and voice/video chat. Email is fairly reliable and easily dealt with, and IM and voice/video provide that instant response factor. If I IM someone and don’t get a response, my next course of action is to send them an email and if it’s really urgent I just pick up the phone.
Also, I find the trend of inviting people to functions through social networking to be a little frustrating. Evite is fine because it’s simple and requires little to no effort to get the info you need but if someone invites me to something through Myspace I just assume it’s some annoying band and ignore it, or I put off checking it and by then it’s too late to do anything about it.
And while I’m on a tangent, I really wish people wouldn’t automatically dial a cell number, when given a choice of numbers for a person. I live in a canyon where no phone gets reception so I don’t get text messages or phone calls when I’m at home. Sometimes on the weekend I won’t leave the house on one day so then people get mad at me for not responding to them until next day when I actually get the message. I guess this is a problem that something like GrandCentral would solve, but it’s still in beta.
I guess it all boils down to one factor though: the users. Why is it that people insist on using the newest/weirdest/fad contact medium when they want to get a hold of you?
ahh WebCT.. dont even get me started. *cough* attach file *cough*. Id love to hear your thoughts on it actually.
I am with you on this one Paul.
I don’t get the point of requiring someone to login in order to view or reply to a personal message.
Why make me login? For the page views? The fact is that I already am a member of ‘X’ site, you are trying to convert the converted. You are going to get my page views, next time I choose to login.
And not being able to reply from the email site ‘X’ has sent me notifying or providing me the text of a PM is beyond me as well. Site ‘X’ has sent me the notification email to begin with, at the very least provide me with a reply link that does not require me to login. You know I’ll be the only one using that link because I am the only one you sent it to :) All the forums do this for email confirmation when you join, (activation link rarely needs login), why not for a PM reply.
Maybe OpenID will partly reduce the frustration when we will (theoretically) only need to remember one username/password combo.
As a university student who regular communicates using facebook messages instead of email, I can say that in the current culture email is seen as overly former. I use it when I’m communicating about classwork, but for anything social, email is almost inappropriate.
I realize it’s kind of ridiculous, but it’s how it is and everyone I know checks their facebook account just as much if not more than their their email inbox anyways. It doesn’t help that my school has a terrible web-based email UI.
I feel that email is a little too personal, as if it’s writing out a letter and mailing it to someone.
Posting a wall comment or a message through a private message service with another friend feels more comfortable to me.
I feel that email is a little old fashioned, and when talking through a social networking site, private messaging should certainly be included. Do you really want your social messages in the same area as spam, business emails, bank alerts, newsletters, etc?
Oh man– I hate PMs so much. Recently, this has gotten to me with all the attention [from friends] I’ve been getting on facebook and Virb. Every time I check my email (basically every 5 minutes) there’s two new messages, one saying I have a message at facebook the other at Virb. And like you said, you have to open the email, click the link, login, navigate to the messages page (not always) and then finally click to open the message. All of this just wasting away my bandwidth when instead I could have just opened my email, opened a message and then replied from there. No logging in to 10 different sites, no remembering which obscure message features are on what site. My email has all the features I need, and none of those novelty additions that so many forums (and facebook apps) seem to have become so intimate with.
But along with multiple sites comes multiple clients. I don’t use instant messengers any more because I was sick of having 6 different screen names for however many different clients. Yes, I used Adium (and before that, Proteus) but it was still a major PITA that each system had different [strange] emoticons that distorted my message, different features and capabilities, and all sorts of strange bots *cough–aim*. As a result, I sometimes open Adium with an auto-reply somewhere along the lines of “EMAIL ME LIKE I ASKED YOU TO”.
Pardon the thoughts if they seem incoherent or nonsensical in any way, it’s 2am and I haven’t slept in the past 48 hours–
My perfect solution: All social sites, forums included, give a user the option to use their email as a messaging system. Emails will filter through their system, so that unless specifically set, each user will see only the username and no email address. Also, subjects should contain a label with a word count. That way, if the reply is “yeah lol definitely” then it can be moved into a separate folder apart from any 500-1000 word legitimate discussion. In addition to this, each site’s message page will be customizable so that if I want, I can put a link in it that when clicked on my laptop activates a script to see only messages from that site (or whatever else I want).
By the way, what’s GT like these days? My dad went there in the late 70s, and I think it’d be interesting (I prefer Cooper Union or other lib/arts though). But I’m 15 so I got a while to think about it ;)
I haven’t responded to a private message ever as far as I know :-) A lot depends on your definition of ‘friends’ as I would hazard that 95% of people that say they are friends I wil never meet or talk to in my life.
I tend to find that with friends I tend to use IM a lot more as it more instantaneous, less intrusive and more interactive. So I tend to prefer this to email so I sort of think email while ‘fit and well’ is possibly a little outdated in its way.
Would post on this but is my wifes birthday so I am meant to be off line all day!!! I am reading this as she iChats on her iMac to my parents in the UK on their Mac mini hooked up to their 42″ TV - gotta love technlogy!!!
I honestly can’t stand private messages, most of the time I forget to set the email alert feature on a forum, and I won’t notice I have a PM until weeks later when I log in and just happen to notice it! I agree that sites like facebook should just allow you to email the person back directly, you already know their email address!!
I agree that it can be {and is} annoying, but it also depends. If your a complete nobody, then you DO want to have people following, sending you messages, etc. But then at the opposite end, you get well known and people are constantly ‘PMing’ you, which is annoying. So, I guess it’s what comes with fame. :-)
I have a special email account for social networks, etc. I hardly ever check it, because if I’m in the mood to “social network” then I’ll be on that site anyway. I check the special email rarely, when I do, I quickly scan through the messages, then pretty much delete them all. Private Messaging is a very bad way to contact me.
You hit the nail on the head with this one Paul. Man do I despises these stupid messaging systems that send me an email to tell me to go check my (essentially) email. WTF. This is such a waste of time and I would love to see someone taken to court over “Time Theft” issues associated with theses poorly designed systems. I really hate the ones that don’t even send you an email when someone messages you. When professors post messages on WebCT it drives me crazy!
the track back didn’t work. but here is my articulate blog post of my thoughts on the issue. http://www.creativehedgehog.com/?postid=362
comment with link got eaten?
I’m a pstam fan… I want the badge to prove it. :)
Another big reason that PMs are pretty much useless is that you can’t respond to them on a mobile device (ok, except the iPhone) unless the site has a mobile interface, and even then it can be pretty heinous.
Paul,
With you being a student of Computational Media, I can see you being more interested in social apps than a 58-year old retired guy like me would be. But, don’t you somewhat set yourself up for the email noise by plugging into so many different social networks? Would eliminating all of those connections except maybe the top four or five be better, or am I missing something about this whole social network thing? To me it seems like one or two (maybe up to four or five) outlets would be the max I would want to be engaged in. Although I am tempted by natural curiosity to want to “test” several of them, my experience is that it can be hard to get out of some of them once you start “testing” them.
I do sympathize with the email headaches this gives you. Shame of it is that there are probably some gems buried within all of the “lol” noise, and you may get to see the gems because it is easy to go on a deleting spree when you see too much noise.
Regardless, I certainly agree with you that email should be the comm method: throws everything into one bin, so to speak.
I generally agree with your thoughts on PM, but I’m finding Facebook’s useful for two primary reasons: not having to keep track of people’s email addresses and lack of spam.
With all of the mobility among the folks I don’t talk to all that often, I’ve found that my email address book and typedown lists are usually hopelessly out-of-date as people have switched jobs. With Facebook messaging, I don’t have to worry about that. I’m connected to the person, regardless of where they’re working. (This problem has lessened with people using one Webmail address for life, but not everyone is a personal contact.)
The spam problem is a much bigger issue. I get tons of false positives in my spam folder, meaning I have to go fishing for important mail. You’re more likely to have your message go through if you comment on my blog or send a Facebook message.
Email needs other improvements, too. More thoughts here:
http://blog.agrawals.org/2007/09/14/bringing-email-into-the-21st-century/
Some of this has to do with privacy protection of the users’ email address(s). I ran into a very similar issue when writing the message system for CampusTrade (http://www.campustrade.com/) - some users want to be able to message each other without revealing their email address - making inclusion of the user’s address in a message a breach of privacy.
A solution around this is to do what Craiglist does with random email addresses @craigslist.org. Some sites even let you reply to this temporary email address and it will forward the message to the recipient’s real email address. This kind of threading isn’t hard to do, but it lacks the transparency of simple providing a user’s original email address.
I’m not sure there is a silver bullet for this one though…
My company uses RT (http://bestpractical.com/rt) for internal support tickets. The best part is that when someone responds to your support ticket you get an email with the contents of the reply in RT and you are able to reply back to the ticket via email without having to go to the site or login.
I’m not a fan of the PM. In fact, most forums I visit have a horde of unread (and not likely to be read) private messages. I just don’t have the time to read them all. I’m lucky to have the time to keep following the comments on a blog post like this one that I’m interested in. As with normal email, 90% of the PMs I receive are garbage, thinly targeted spam, or from someone I really don’t want to strike up a conversation with.
If someone really wants to get a hold of me, there’s more than enough breadcrumbs on the net to get in touch (i.e., I don’t use private registration on most of my websites, unless they are owned by my corporate entity.. most aren’t)
I’m a fan of the concept of the forum. Most anything you can say to me, I’d rather have out there for the group. I simply don’t have the time to extrapolate on a point I’ve made for the benefit of one person.
I’ll agree that social networks are a horse of a different color. Also, probably the reason that I don’t use them much.
I defiantly feel the same way Paul!!! That’s one of the reasons why I don’t join that many social networks, i don’t log in for a few weeks and i have all these private messages…
Basically, what this post, exhibit A (very amusing) and the assorted comments show is a consensus against the PM trend.
I agree, but feel arguably one can make an exception for Facebook. As one commenter pointed out, many people nowadays spend about as much time checking facebook as they do their email. And a case can be made for wanting to keep the type of message you get on Facebook separate from your email.
The real issue here is storage. Eventually, hopefully soon, consolidating all email in one place so it can be searched easily will becme easier, and synchronising PM accounts with wherever you store your email archives (most people probably use Gmail for this) will be automated instead of a pain in the neck or straight impossible as it is at present.
I can’t agree more. I hate it when I see emails from Friendster telling me that I have received an message. Sometimes, it’s acceptable when I am receiving a greeting from some old friends, when they may not have my email address in their address book.
However, most of the time, I am only seeing some silly forwarded messages, especially those that mention about “Friendster will close your account if you don’t forward this message”. After I got disappointed too many times, I have stopped checking all those stupid private messaging.
Private Messages are annoying. Too many services use them. When you get notified of the message being there, at least include the message content in the emails. Also, can these services have a “disable private messages” feature? That’d be cool. If I ever make some sort of site, if I include this feature at all, I’d definitely have an easy way to disable it.
Paul, I understand your frustration with PM’s.
I am 53 and for me it is just the opposite. I love PM’s
I get up at 04:00 every morning and start logging into forums that I post on. Each one has a different function and it is much easier to keep members straight in my head if I am in sync with where I am.
Even with the best filters, I am still plagued with spam and crap e-mails.
I spend way too much time sifting through e-mails looking for valid ones.
so basically I check my e-mails about three times a day.
I have never missed a private message and I find that it emulates the way the real world works. How many times have you been on a forum and watched a member post something that they either stated wrong or might have unknowingly offended someone. This is one of those times when you certainly would be thankful that one of the members politely brought this to your attention by PM, right away, if you are the one who posted the unintended ding. I believe that today’s society is moving faster and faster. We have gotten to the point that we can’t even take the time to spell things out any more and are in the process of creating a new language. Soon we all will be texting in shorthand. So for me the PM works just fine, and I will take that over e-mail.